it have been such a long time since my last post. sorry for the delay. many things happened to my recently. some of those things were new to me. and i took a little long time to adapt towards the surrounding. and saddly, i had to think about others' feeling instead of mine throughout this learning process. and they tought me a lot about life. sometimes being selfish and an irritating person is good for you. for me, i mean. these all long journey as i lived here had changed me day by days.unfortunately it cost me a lot. instead of money,it cost me my nature. and lucky nina,i have such a good family and friends around me that always here for me. guys,thanks for being such a supportive person for me. ok ok,back to the story. naturally,i have a thought that crying is a way to express your feeling. especially when you share yor feeling  with others. but some how,it changed. crying is one of the ways that shows how weak you are. saddly,i have to admit that this is my first nature that i have to pay.maybe it is simple for others,but it is not for me. it is nature,NATURE.

until that day came. i was with my friends that time,having our common conversation. suddenly,one of them said "menangis tu bagus. nangis ni lembutkan hati kite. lagipon,menangis boleh membersihkan dosa2 kite..". i was touched down to the bottom of my heart. i cannot reply any comment by that time as i was asked. speechless.
and today,while i facebook-ing i found an articel. i would love to share this with others.it has made me realised someting today. 

*****************************  from i luv islam  ***************************************

 Mengapakah Ibumu Menangis?

Seorang anak laki-laki kecil bertanya kepada ibunya,
"Mengapa engkau menangis?"
"Kerana aku seorang wanita", kata sang ibu kepadanya.
"Aku tidak mengerti", kata anak itu.
Ibunya hanya memeluknya dan berkata,
"Dan kau tak akan pernah mengerti" Kemudian anak laki-laki itu bertanya kepada ayahnya,
"Mengapa ibu suka menangis tanpa alasan?"
"Semua wanita menangis tanpa alasan", hanya itu yang dapat dikatakan oleh ayahnya.
Anak laki-laki kecil itu pun lalu membesar menjadi seorang laki-laki dewasa, tetap ingin tahu mengapa wanita suka menangis. Akhirnya ia mendapat petunjuk dari Tuhan, Antara bisikan yang didengarinya adalah:

01."Ketika Aku menciptakan seorang wanita, ia diharuskan untuk menjadi seorang yang istimewa. Aku membuat bahunya cukup kuat untuk menopang dunia; namun, harus cukup lembut untuk memberikan kenyamanan "

02."Aku memberikannya kekuatan dari dalam untuk mampu melahirkan anak dan menerima penolakan yang seringkali datang dari anak-anaknya "

03."Aku memberinya kekerasan untuk membuatnya tetap tegar ketika orang-orang lain menyerah, dan mengasuh keluarganya dengan penderitaan dan kelelahan tanpa mengeluh "

04."Aku memberinya kepekaan untuk mencintai anak-anaknya dalam setiap keadaan, bahkan ketika anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti hatinya "

05."Aku memberinya kekuatan untuk mendukung suaminya dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi dengan tulang rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi hatinya "

06."Aku memberinya kebijaksanaan untuk mengetahui bahawa seorang suami yang baik takkan pernah menyakiti isterinya, tetapi kadang menguji kekuatannya dan ketetapan hatinya untuk berada di sisi suaminya tanpa ragu "

07."Dan akhirnya, Aku memberinya air mata untuk dititiskan. Ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk digunakan walaupun kadangkala dia tidak memerlukannya."

and this last paragraph gave me the most impact. these words have their owns power.

Tahukah kamu? Kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari pakaian yang dikenakannya, susuk yang ia tampilkan, atau bagaimana ia menyisir rambutnya. Kecantikan seorang wanita harus dilihat dari matanya, karena itulah pintu hatinya - tempat dimana cinta itu ada.

*********************************************************************************

thank you,ALLAH.

that should be me.

hmmmmmmm

everybodys laughing in my mind
rumors spreading about this other guy
do you do what you did when you did with me
does he love you the way i can
did you forget all the plans that you made with me
cuz baby i didnt

that should be me, holding your hand
that should be me, making you laugh
that should be me, this is so sad
that should be me, that should be me
that should be me feeling your kiss
that should be me, buying you gifts
this is so wrong, i cant go on
do you believe

 that should be me
that should be me

said you needed a little time from my mistakes
its funny how you used that time to have me replaced
did you think that i wouldnt see you out at the movies
what you doing to me?

your taking him where we used to go
now if your trying to break my heart?
its workin, because you know

 that should be me, holding your hand
that should be me, making you laugh
that should be me, this is so sad
that should be me, that should be me
that should be me feeling your kiss
that should be me, buying you gifts
this is so wrong, i cant go on
do you believe that should be me
that should be me

i need to know should i fight for love
or disarm its getting harder to shield
this pain is my heart

 that should be me, holding your hand
that should be me, making you laugh
that should be me, this is so sad
that should be me, that should be me
that should be me feeling your kiss
that should be me, buying you gifts
this is so wrong, i cant go on
do you believe that should be me
that should be me

THAT SHOULD BE ME.

 P/s : he? she,i prefer.